It is weird to share this but since this is the last post I want to use my last chance to post something that does not requires much thinking. Laugh out loud.  I have never been alone at home for one day and the first time is three days. My parents and my sister went to China and my brother went Australia for re-service, and due to homework and test I’ m not able to go. Luckily, I still have my dog with me and a group of noisy friends that stayed overnight at my house. So strictly to say I am only alone on Sunday. I am so sad that YP cannot make it due to her project.

We ate steamboat on Friday night and it is suppose to be our dinner but the steamboat is only ready at 9 45. All of my friends were so “punctual” and I waited so long for them at Bedok Interchange. After buying all the groceries and stuff we head off to my house and we sat Taxi. Guess what, its $7, it is so expensive because my house is so near to the Interchange. HX was lost despite her coming to my house so many times so who is the ‘blur’ one?

After we reach home, we let the chef, HL do it. HX, ET and WQ are slacking away using laptops and watching television. I always felt blessed that we have HL, because she is really one potential housewife who could cook well and she would always take care of our stomach. How I wish I am her husband and I would have good food everyday. JH and Ign….. I am fighting with you all.

After eating, ET suggested drinking some red wine. Our clique has two drunkards, ET and JH, so we decided to open one. It is so embarrassing but we don’t know how to open it using the wine opener. Six of us actually stop eating and crowd around to figure how to open it. I even have to ask my friend on msn on how to open it but eventually they use knife and stuff and the cork came out. What a hassle, to drink a bottle of wine! This was my first time trying wine. JH (alcohol addict) drank three cups and her face was so red, I was really scared that they would be drunk in my house. After JH and WQ left, ET actually suggested opening another bottle of wine but eventually we did not because I don’t think we can finish even though there is a drunkard ET. 

We slept at 4 and I have been sleeping late for the past three days, I wondered where the energy to stay awake came from. As expected, I was the first to fell asleep and they are so mean they actually make fun of me when I am sleeping. Stupid HX, I will remember it.

Lastly, we had a terrible morning at Macdonald but I was glad we…It’s a secret. Haha. Thanks for accompanying me I have had lots of fun. Let’s eat porridge when we are old.

This has nothng to do with communication concepts but i just want to share this very sad and touching video. Please watch it, it only takes you a few minutes.

 Stereotype is a generalised beliefs by which we make sense of the world around us, regardless of context or accuracy. I believe each of us have a certain stereotype towards certain group of people, be it knowingly or subconsciously. People normally have this assumption of similarity (A refusal to see true difference where they exist between self and others) towards a certain group of people. Singaporeans often have a common stereotype of china people being loud, rude and unhygienic. In the previous communication lecture, a guy said that he thinks China people of all ages tend to not shave their underarms (laugh out loud). Although I do have some China friends, I have never notice their underarms, so I have no answer to whether that view of his is true.

At first before working at Cafe Cartel, I really think China people are rude, loud and unhygienic but after knowing my colleagues mostly from China and Malaysia my perception of China people changed. I realise they are very different from my common stereotype of china people; they are all very friendly, funny and hygienic people. Really hope this helps to improve your impression of China people, they are just innocent individuals who are trying to earn a living in singapore.

At the link below it show an article that mixed couple could not marry. I did not know that prejudices (negative social attitudes held by members of one group towards members of another group) among blacks and the whites are so serious n the western regions. A justice of peace actually refused to issue licenses of marriage to an interracial couple and this is not the first time he does that. His reason for doing so is that he thinks that the children that the couple have in future will actually suffer. I think he meant it as goodwill as he knew how the whites are discounting (see them as not part of the main stream or not very important) the blacks. Ethnocentrism is also a problem hence resulting in the justice of peace refusing to administrate the marriage of the interracial couples. However, I think there is no problem between interracial marriages as long as the couples are happy and blissful; Chinese marrying Caucasians or Chinese marrying Malays are a common scene in Singapore. Maybe interracial marriages are not so common in New Orleans resulting in this incident.

Link: http://www.straitstimes.com/Breaking%2BNews/World/Story/STIStory_443387.html

In this article, you can see that culture is actually a “template for living”. It tells us who we are, what group we belong to and how we live our lives. The people have to obey the cultural norm and this can be seen in the article that a woman who enters Masjidil Haram has to wear a telekung (women’s prayer garb) that covers their hands and feets.

Similarly, this culture is also passed down from generation to generation. Once you are a muslim its impossible to change the fact. The Islam is a collectivism culture whereby social behaviour is determined by the views, needs, and goals of the ingroup rather than of self. It is seen clearly in the article that the country is going to ban the wearing of veil if it poses danger to the security of the country

link :http://www.straitstimes.com/Breaking%2BNews/SE%2BAsia/Story/STIStory_439667.html

Next, I am going to talk about one of my group (“a collection of individuals who, as a result of interacting with one another over time, become interdependent, developing shared patterns of behavior and a collective). Firstly, is 4 da jing gang it means four big super robots in chinese. They are my secondary one to two friend best buddies. From the name, I think you could guess that we have four people in the group.

All of us have a common trait is that we like to find a good place to eat dinner and we sit at the restaurant to talk and chat because we are lazy and chatty. Similarly, we always do things that are really embarrassing. Last Friday, we actually sat outside Plaza Singapura late at night to celebrate Sam’s birthday as we could not find a seat. We sang the birthday song and we forgot to bring lighter so we actually have to do stupid things like blowing on candles that are not lit.

Compared to individual, groups do have complex decision in a sense that we often have decide on where to go and eat, where to go for fun and where to relax. Four people means four decisions and sometimes we may take about 20mins just to think of a place to eat. We often have to balance between group needs and individual need. For example, one of my friend, JH do not eat fish and I do not eat spicy food so Jas and Sam often have to compromise and they cannot go to places like Thai Express and Fish and Co. If there is no full support on the places that we want to go none of us can go so we often took long time deciding.

We are a cohesive group that lends each other support and commitment. When any of us has any problem, we will try to talk and and try to solve their problem although I am always not any help but I tried. I am also grateful to them for always listening to my rubbish and complaints. Three of us except one insist on not using face book (haha) but I don’t think that is considered a commitment but I still stick to it till now.

When I am with them, I don’t have to process my thinking and I am comfortable because what I have to do is just be myself. Thanks Jing Gangs, all of you are missed.

       This episode in this variety show (今晚谁当家) talks about conflict between celebrities and their husband and their reason for divorcing. She and her husband form relationship based on proximity (form relationship with people around them) as both of them are celebrity. Most people do that to prevent uncertainty and they will have less intimidation towards each other. However, conflict can still occur.

         Conflict occurs due to differences in perception and this is highlighted by one of the celebrity 欢欢 in video part 1 at 5 minute 17 seconds. Similarly, conflict can also arise when some of the most important needs in relationship conflict with one another. For her case, both of them have conflict in the autonomy vs. connection part as he is too controlling over her life and work. Her husband decides over which show she can accept and she has to show him any script that she is acting in (in video part 2 at 7 minute 11 second). If there is any part in the script that he does not like, he will ask her not to accept the case. She can only wear long dress and she cannot reveal her toes when she goes on any show this is seen in video part 3 at 2 minute 42 seconds. At the same time, because the guy love her too much he wants her to call him every time she finish doing something this is seen in video 4 at 1 minute 4 seconds.

         欢欢has tried to resolve their conflict by going with what her husband wants her to do but it is still a dysfunctional (break a relationship) one as she finally feel that she is very tired of always being the under-benefitting one. In the end, the husband, the over-benefiting one also finally thought through thoroughly and both of them decided to end this relationship peacefully.

         I think her relationship with her husband is very similar to the Duck’s model of relational disengagement strategies and it is clearly shown in video part 5. In the sense that they start to quarrel and pinpoint about each other at the start (intrapsychic processes), they start to talk about their problems at 44 seconds (dyadic processes), grave-dressing process seen in 1 minute 20seconds, and both of the are happier after they are divorce as seen in 2 minute 36 seconds (resurrection process). She can now enjoy her work and doing things that she is interested in and is no longer restricted by her husband.

        This post is on my idol Fann Wong’s wedding preparation show (芳心有李).  Reasons for sharing this is for all of you to feel their happiness and most importantly, in the videos above, you can see how non-verbal communication is at work in their relationship. At 3 minute 50 second, Fann made use of vocalies (sound other than words) which is a part of paralinguistic; when they talk about what they quarrel over that cause them to have a cold war for two months . Through this we can also see that non-verbal communication is receiver-oriented and subjective because only Christopher knew which incident she is talking about.

       While Christopher is talking about his mother at 6 minute 56 second, Fann could see that Christopher is starting to tear through oculesics (the study of non-verbal meaning associated with the eyes). Indeed “eyes are the windows to the soul”.

       Similarly, the way they hold hands where they crossed their fingers together at part two also tell us through haptics (the study of touch in communication) that they are deeply in love. Christopher also mentioned a good point in part two 2 minute 23 second, whereby he can feel how happy Fann is through the way she held his hand on the day of their engagement. These are forms of haptics in non-verbal communication.

      Their relationship is mostly formed based on similarity where both of them were actors and they work in an almost similar environment. However, they do not have attitudinal similarity as they have different characters and they come from different countries. In the course of the relationship, Christopher started to like Japanese food due to Fann’s influence (social preference similarity), it is seen is part two of the video.

       Hope you have enjoyed the video and feel the sense of happiness they have in anticipation to 29 September (their wedding day!).

       I am going to introduce you a funny and touching Korean comedy in my second entry. It is called the Scandal Makers. This movie is about a not so popular 36 year old Korean DJ who is having high listenership due to an anonymous young single mother calling in. One day, the DJ ‘s doorbell rang and this 22 year old single mum with a 6 year old boy claim to be his daughter and grandson at his doorstep. This resulted in a twist in his bachelor life and the single mum’s life, whereby this selfish man and this immature girl changed into caring and responsible individuals.

       The DJ took in the mother and child under situational rules that govern the situation he is in. The mother threatens to reveal their identity and because he is a celebrity and exposing this scandal will spoil his good image, changing people’s perception of him as a caring person and cause listenership to fall. It’s a good example to show how organisation can be influenced by structural elements that shape our overall approach to the perceptual tasks.

       In this movie, you can also see how physical personal constructs is used to predict the future and how it governs people’s personal action or response. The girl was dressed like a village girl at first and when she participate the singing competition her biological father, the DJ, had the thinking that she will not sing well until she sung. They were all shocked that the girl could sing so well. When the girl took a makeover, she rose to popularity in a short time. Similarly, the grandson was dressed shabbily and the kids in the childcare refused to play with him. Things start to change for the better until his dad bought him nice outfits and when they realized that he could play the piano very well.

       Figure (the focus of our attention) and ground (setting or context surrounding the context) also plays a part in this movie. The first day in the childcare, the little boy saw a very cute little girl (figure) and he totally had all his eyes on her and even when his grandfather (ground), the DJ, called out to him he is not paying attention. His grandfather also focuses on the gorgeous female teacher when he saw her and forgets the surrounding.

       We also tend to form closure which is tendency to fill in the missing piece of a puzzle by mentally completing it so as to make sense of a particular set of stimuli. In one of the scene, the ex-boyfriend of the single mother saw her going up the same house with the DJ, and he starts to suspect that she is having an affair with the DJ. Also, when he saw the little boy at the police station he thought that the DJ is the father of the boy. Through vision, he made up his perception without knowing the full picture.

       Lastly, this is a comedy worth watching as it have a good storyline and a cute boy as the character which will make you laugh. Mostly importantly, it is a touching movie about kinship and family ties.

You can watch the thriller at the link below:

http://www.moviexclusive.com/review/scandalmakers/scandalmakers.html (Read More)

           Miscommunication is a big problem, not only does it results in misunderstandings or offending people unknowingly, it may even cause something more serious like death.

               This is seen in the stampede on 10 September in the India capital New Delhi. Five were killed and many others injured. This could have been avoided if they use a better way or other channel to inform the students about the electrical breakdown so that they can evacuate from the building safely and effectively.

          As reported, the students received different messages and students from the first floor were told to evacuate to the top of the building whereas the students from the ground floor were told to go up instead. Partly also due to the students, who is the receivers, are distracted by competing internal stimuli which is their fear of being electrocuted hence they just rush out of the building without any order.

           Some students might also follow the crowd to escape as its common for human nature to have the tendency to use our senses to rush to conclusion that there is danger even though they are not inform through proper announcements. This is idols of the tribe, one of Bacon’s four Idols. Furthermore, the place is filled with people’s screaming and chattering, even if there were any important messages being announced, it would be difficult for the message to be decoded in the mist of these noises. Hence message send not equals to message received.

               If the teachers could take note of the lexis and the decorum, which is the style and delivery of the announcement, and the words and subject matter to fit together, to the circumstances and occasion, the audience; the number of death and injuries might have reduced significantly. The students should have been told to evacuate quietly class by class before their exams starts by the teachers rather then messages being passed around by students. This is evident in the article as the girl being interviewed says that she and her classmates were pushed out of their class for no reason. If the communication is an effective one, students would not be so alarm and rushing out in such a disorganised manner.

           Therefore, miscommunication can be really serious especially in times of danger and chaotic situations.  I deeply feel that this tragedy could have been avoided if the communication between the teachers and the students is an effective one.

URL: http://www.channelnewsasia.com/stories/afp_asiapacific/view/1004086/1/.html